What am I to my friend

How does one qualify for a friend?

I wonder whether I am good, honest, and faithful or even a reliable one to the people around me. And this is so painful since I even don’t know whether I am a good friend to someone. I have a huge traffic of people on my social media platforms; but I am confused who I can trust for some friendly issues.

Abraham, one of my colleagues confirmed to me that he is not sure of who a friend is and whether he has friends. He hasn’t been sure whether he has all qualities of being a good friend to anyone.

 It’s not him alone, we have many people who do not have friends around them and still are not sure whether they are friends to others; with the big number of people around us, even on social media and phone book but yet we are not sure of who to run to as a friend for all seasons.

A friend “is a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations” “a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.” Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an acquaintance or an association, such as a classmate, neighbor, or colleagues.

Other people says that a friend is someone who stands up for a close one in many instances. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. They don’t care who is trying to harm you; they will defend you anytime, anywhere. If they can help you, they’ll do it without reservation or reward.

Let us define who a friend is in a simplified manner so that we may bring the message where it deserves.

How can you define a friend? Many of us have these relationships without taking a keen consideration on the matter. A friend can be someone you’ve been close to for years, or someone fairly new in your life. They could be someone you bond with over a favorite sport or Television show, or perhaps a new friendship you formed at school or work. A friend can come from all aspects of our lives and it’s important to reflect on what characteristics are important in friendships, how friends shape our lives, and what true friends look like.

The definition of a friend for most of us is someone who is there for us throughout our daily lives. We are here to make sense of all things friends. What makes a good friend? What makes a bad friend?

If someone cannot keep a secret between two parties, then that is not qualified to be a friend. Trust is about so much more than catching your partner in a truth or lie. It is about believing that he or she truly has your best interests at heart. Mistrust is a lingering feeling in the back of your mind that your partner does not truly love you or may abandon you. So much about trust is walking the talk. Your partner may tell you he/she loves you, but do his/her actions support that? All too often, when people aren’t feeling safe enough in a relationship to be honest and open with their partner, it’s because they don’t believe that their partner truly loves them or they are overly protective of their own interests.

The other thing is that, if someone who you call a friend cannot donate his blood to you when you are in need, he is not a friend either. Each day, thousands of people need donated blood and blood products to keep them in good health or allow them to stay alive; a friend should be there for you at particular time like this, think twice.

“Hello Ibrahim, it’s Erustus and am calling you for a special request. I am in the hospital admitted and urgently need blood; can you kindly come and assist me…!” and the response turn so worrying. “Haki mtu wangu, I can’t make it bro since I don’t think I can donate my blood to you. Kindly look elsewhere and May the good Lord see you through” Ibrahim responds to Erustus, who has been his great friend for a long period.

That is the kind of the response that many of us get from many people around us that we count as friends. Sometimes you finds yourself in a mess and all you can do is to scroll your phone to get at least a friend to bail you out, but you get a negative response; fake promises and hang-ups.

Imagine someone who can stand with you in times of distress; someone who can’t lift you when you are down. Think of when you lose a job and nowhere to go to seek refuge; how about when you’ve lost a loved one and need a chest to lean on. What of when you’ve been diagnosed of a deadly disease and need a strong hand to hold you. If the one you call a friend can’t be available for you at this particular time, then you are all alone and need to admit that you’ve no friend.

If you’ve been having a ‘friend’ and has not been challenging, supporting or even walking with you in all aspects of live, then quit and forget about it. Many are the one who are always there when we are marrying and not when you are in pain.

Better be alone in the jungle full of lions and expect God to save you in anyway, than being in a company of people who are hypocrites and make your life miserable. Those are just but parasites who ae sucking your blood and their intention is to bring you down. Your friends are the people who you can always count on. The few who will show up for you in an instant. Those people who never fail to make you laugh, and the first people you get on the phone whenever you may need advice in anyway.

“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” Sarah Dessen