True meaning of marriage may be quite a challenge as there are so many different views and understandings of what exactly constitutes a marriage. These differences occur from culture to culture and even within a culture from person to person
The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal. A marriage ceremony is known as a wedding.
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage)
This sharing of two lives entails myriads of facets involving a bonding of their bodies, souls and spirits in a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual union. So when it comes to finding the true meaning of a happy and fulfilling marriage, this article will explore the following five facets.
There is a saying that says ‘how can two people go on a journey together unless they have agreed to do so?’ And it is the same with marriage. When two individuals decide to get married there has to be some level of agreement between them. In the past, this agreement may have been reached by the family members in the case of an arranged marriage. Nowadays, however, it is generally the couple themselves who make the decision and reach the agreement to spend the rest of their lives together.
Therefore, having said so; there are expectations from either party so as to keep them moving as they enjoy their marriage. Today I will talk more about what a man should get from his wife in marriage; something that many women are not aware of. Every man need to feel happy, appreciated and at peace always while in his house with his family.
WAYS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY:
The most important thing husbands crave from their partners is appreciation and approval — but it’s amazing how many women are accustomed to telling their spouses what they’re doing wrong without balancing that out with positive feedback. I have outlined some of the things that are very important to any man so as to sustain him in the marriage. There could be many others, but this one are the most important:
1. Give him sex: While women’s desire for sex may be prompted by their mind, memory, or emotional feelings of connection, for men desire is physical. Men have massive amounts of testosterone coursing through their bodies, pushing and driving them toward sexual expression. Erections spring at the slightest provocation in young men. And for an adult man, seeing his wife or partner coming out of the shower naked causes his body to react. It is hard to overestimate the way his body chemistry directs his mind’s psychology toward the sexual.
- Sex to a man is a hunger. Yes, he wants to be full. But his craving for sex is like a craving for chocolates: Each sexual episode holds the exquisite possibility of a surprise-filled confection, maybe creamy smooth, or buttery rich, perhaps a little raw and bittersweet, or silky sweet. The mind of a man is captivated by the thought of an opportunity to feel delighted and surprised.
- Sex to a man is energy. Sexuality infuses a man’s intimate relationships with potential and excitement. The hormonal energy gives him the drive and aggression to pursue his life’s purpose and work, and to pursue his partner. He pushes through daily monotony, tantalized by the fantasy of a sexual reward at the end of a hard day.
- Sex is excitement to a man. It’s life most thrilling adventure. His body is a great pleasure machine that he’d like to enjoy at full throttle. Since orgasm is usually reliable and easy, a variety of sexual acts, positions, and rhythms seem to be a fantastic way to explore and elevate his gratification. Every flirtation, smile, innuendo, shapely figure, or sexual image, whether fantasized or real, is a hit on the male brain. His brainwaves spike with elation just at the hint of something or someone reminding him of sex.
- A man gives love through sex. The moment his partner gets turned on is often the moment men describe as most sexually satisfying. It’s baffling to men when they are called selfish because of their preference for sexual connection. In their hearts, there is an expectation of mutual, exquisite bodily pleasure. He often concocts and fantasizes about how to make it better for her, begging for information about her erotic desires, just so he can improve as a lover.
- To a man, sex is love. Sexual release makes men feel like they are finally home. After the world’s hurts and challenges, sex embodies love and care and provides soothing and support. While he may be accused of “only wanting sex,” most men want and feel a much more emotional connection than a simple bodily release. Making love literally creates a deep feeling of attachment to his partner and spurs relational generosity, faith, and optimism. Being desired by his partner can be the single most reassuring part of his relationship.
While most women may wish for an emotional connection before having a physical connection, for men sexual connection is often necessary to feel safe enough for emotional vulnerability. Ultimately, male sexual drive in a relationship is a gift and to be sincere it’s another path toward love.
2. Obey him. “I have been dating a man for over a year, and he has always been pretty controlling… not in a way that has put me in any harm, but it’s been obvious that he likes to be in charge. Only recently have we had a serious discussion about the fact that there is something he needs from me: Obedience. He told me that without a doubt he needs a wife who will be submissive and obey him in all things without question. He says that he will be the head of the household and I am to be his woman, in his corner at all times”. Grace, a very good friend of mine told me. Every man wants to feel like a leader in his home and like the man of the house. To be honest with women; the moment you learn and understand to obey your man, then it became the secret of your happiness in the marriage.
3. Love his parents. To be honest with you; men marry women who actually resemble their mom, more than women marry men who look like their father. I’m not sure how I feel about that one, but I do believe my wife is similar to my mom in many ways. And I’m not the only one. Women who loves her husband’s parent even when it does not make any sense, has every reason to be pride of her man. She is being cared for, protected and has her name in her husband’s will.
4. Respect his siblings. How do you know if your new husband truly loves the children you brought into the marriage? The best way is to ask him. It’s hard to clean up vomit and to listen to screaming when it’s your own child, so when you do it for someone else’s (without even thinking about it) it’s a very positive sign. Sometimes kids are a worry. Sometimes all what parent need to do is weather a storm together. If your man is really sharing your concerns about your children, that’s a sign he truly loves those kids. When you love someone, you want what’s best for them. Your kids’ relationship with their biological dad may be close, fraught or non-existent, but you know your man loves them when he puts his own feelings about your ex aside. The first sign he really loves your kids might be him hassling your grade-schooler to get his homework done or telling your teenager she can’t go to the all-night party. He’s gone from trying to be the cool stepdad to being someone who is thinking about their futures and helping them make good choices.
5. Never argue with him. I don’t know whether you have ever heard the saying, “Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.” Sometimes it really feels like men and women were birthed, raised and inhabited completely different planets! Sometimes it’s the little things, but other times it’s more serious decisions that husbands and wives have a very difficult time Seeing Eye to eye on. It takes a committed wife to determine in her heart that she will avoid arguments with her husband. It takes self-control, prayer and lots of patience. It also takes a listening ear and an understanding heart.
- Listen to your husband. Many times we women have a habit of interrupting our friends, family members and especially our husbands. Even if your husband has a contrary opinion, take the time and really listen to him.
- Don’t assume the worst. Is your husband late coming home from work? Don’t assume he was out doing things he shouldn’t. Hey, maybe he was buying you some flowers — it’s possible! Does he want to skip dinner? Don’t be quick to think he doesn’t enjoy your cooking. He really may be too exhausted to eat.
- Think before you speak. In your other relationships you are probably slower to speak than in your marriage. It’s so easy to just say any and everything that flies into our minds! Take time to examine your thoughts before you respond or discuss a sensitive subject with your husband. Once the words are out of your mouth, they will never return. Much damage and hurt has been done through cruel, harsh and angry words.
- Follow the age-old saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” This is a great saying that I teach my kids — but it’s also very applicable to marriage. So many arguments would be prevented if we kept our critical remarks to ourselves. Your husband will have enough cold-hearted, negative comments hitting him from relatives and co-workers. He doesn’t need it from you too.
- Don’t be mad at the same time. If you focus on staying calm when your husband is angry, it is much more difficult to become engaged in a heated argument. On the same hand, when you are growling and snarling, it sure does help if your hubby is in a good mood! Remember that bit of advice from a man that was happily married for many years. Post that saying on your fridge or your mirror to give you a little reminder every single day!
- Don’t withhold intimacy. If you want to stop arguments before they start, keep intimacy frequent and alive! Pushing your husband away will only harden his heart. Real marriages need two humble, tender-hearted people that share affection constantly.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. He leaves his shoes in the living room. He invites friends over at the most inconvenient times. He forgets special plans. He rarely says “thank you” for home-cooked meals or a clean home. So what? Focusing on the small annoyances will only tempt you to open your mouth and start an argument. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it.
- Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” Many arguments between a husband and wife involve two wrongs. Yes, maybe one spouse majorly messed up, but the other one may have over-reacted as well. If you have done anything wrong in the situation, be willing to apologize first before the discussion gets out of hand! A happy marriage takes hard work! Commit to stop arguing with your husband so you can create a happier home for your family! A strong marriage creates a solid foundation for a happy home. Love, listen and apologize today for a marriage that is full of wonderful memories!
6. Always make him feel he’s the superior. You know that feeling you get when you get dressed in something decidedly feminine and you can feel your husband’s eyes do a double take? When he responds to your femininity by treating you like someone really special, way more special than all the other women in the world? It can get the butterflies fluttering again! Your husband gets the same charge out of having you recognize and appreciate his masculinity, notice his sex appeal, and tell him about it. You’ll both be winners if you learn how to make your husband feel like a man!
Many times are when ladies can run the boardroom and the carpool with equal aplomb, but only their men have strength, broad shoulders to put your head on and melts you when they walks through the house in the morning in a sharp suit and smelling all aftershave-y. Sometimes he may be looking funny, especially in the morning- he looks with a little five o’clock shadow and his rugged, outdoorsy clothes on. All those things that made you want him in the beginning are still there. I have some tips on how to celebrate your manly-man and make your marriage even better.
- Contrast is everything. One way to make your husband feel like a man is to act like a woman. It’s easy in the grind of everyday life to go for the jeans and sweats a lot. But when you make the effort to play up your femininity, it brings back into focus for both of you that you’re very much a woman and he’s very much a man. So even in your casual attire, look for things that flatter your shape and remind him that you’re not just one of the guys.
- Let him lead. Men are hardwired to want to lead and protect. So get out of your husband’s way and let him do it! Ask him about things you don’t understand as well as he does—it could be something as important as financial planning and really listen. And yes, we understand that there are some things you’re the expert on. But that’s not the point. Thank him for the knowledge and the skills he brings to the table in your family.
- Recognize his physical strength. We know that not every guy is a jock or a power lifter. But even the average fellow is a little stronger than the average woman. When you need his help to move the sofa, tell him how nice it is to have someone strong around the house. If you’re feeling extra flirty, give those biceps of his a squeeze and throw in a wink. He may roll his eyes, but he’ll love it. Teach your kids to admire him. Point out to your children that Daddy has traits that you really appreciate and they should too! Celebrate his masculinity in their presence, brag on his strength, and talk about how he makes you feel safe and protected. He will love it and the kids will too.
- When he looks good, tell him. Most of women have a favorite “look” for our husband. It might be his sharpest suit or that rugged look he gets after working hard or playing hard outdoors. Whatever it is that turns your head, let him know you love it.
- Flirt. Women tend to be pretty good at communicating that they’re attracted when they’re dating or newly married—and then they forget how to flirt! It’s the playful touching, the hug that lingers just a bit longer than necessary, and the wink. Get a little touchy under the table at dinner. Snuggle up close on the sofa. Nothing in the world will make your husband feel more like a man than knowing that you still want him. Period.
7. Never investigate his phone. Someone said that men’s phone are like onions, the moment you touch them, you must cry. Given that so many women admit to checking their husband’s phone, is it the case that men and women also respond differently to different types of messages those containing predominantly emotional content as opposed to those containing sexual content? Why do people feel the need to check, or even have access to their partner’s phone? If you want to live in peace, kindly avoid accessing your husband’s phones; this is because interpretation of different contents in the phone can cause more harm than good.
8. Kiss him when he insults you. Don’t let him get away with it. If you let him get away with it, he’s going to feel like if he does it again, you won’t do anything about it. If this is his first time, then talk to him about it and tell him that you don’t appreciate him insulting you like that and not apologizing. Then ignore him for a few hours hopefully he realizes that he made a mistake and that he really hurt you; but the most important one, grab him and kiss him passionately.
9. Don’t waste his property. He has toiled so much for that what you are wasting. Buildings and electronics are highly valued by many men. Wasting them could cause a divorce or fights. Instead of wasting, just be a good manger and you will leave to enjoy. A woman who is a good steward of her man’s property always wins her husband’s heart.
10. Support him when he’s broke. If you know your man’s credit card is going to decline, don’t look at him expectantly to pay or better yet, eat in and hit up the bar for a nightcap. Sometimes women need to just take one step ahead especially if you are on payroll or have a business and provide to the entire family; buy your man bear or cigarettes and even pay your children’s school fees. No one will have to know that you are the one who did it unless you like shouting and informing everyone you meet on the way. Rather than cutting him out of your life for feeling like he’s not measuring up, lift him up. If he’s under-employed due to school, encourage and support him to finish so he can bring home that bacon or pizza.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” — Mignon McLaughlin